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13 Things Parents Should Know About 13 Reasons Why

By: Rochelle Kruszka, M.A., LAMFT
Youth & Family Therapist, YSB

13 Reasons Why is a new, popular series on Netflix based on the Jay Asher novel by the same name. The series is centered around a high school student, Hannah Baker, who dies by suicide. Hannah leaves cassette tapes behind to let others know what were her “reasons” why she chose suicide, and what the individuals did to contribute to her death. There are some positive aspects of this show, but I also have many concerns about how suicide is depicted in this series.

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Adolescent Mental Health: 14 Ways to Support Your Teen

I received a phone call this past winter from a parent who had attended one of my workshops a few weeks before.

“Dr. Walsh, I definitely feel like I know a lot more about what is going on inside my daughter’s brain after your workshop. But I have to say that it feels like my daughter is a lot more extreme.

“What do you mean? Can you give me some examples?” I responded.

“Oh all kinds of things. She just doesn’t seem like herself. I get it that all teens are tired and grumpy sometimes, but my daughter never wants to get out of bed anymore. For anything! She seems so down, isn’t eating well, and doesn’t want to see any of her friends. This started at the beginning of the school year and that was two months ago! I am getting nervous that this isn’t just normal teenage stuff.”

“You are right that the adolescent brain is subject to rapid mood shifts and bouts of the blues.” I said. “But I am glad that you called. A sad mood that descends and never lifts is a sign that something else might be going on.”

Here are tips to: distinguish the “normal” from the “abnormal”, stamp out stigma, and take the next steps:

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Help your family THRIVE through the holidays!

The holidays are fast approaching; and with them the joy and the stress they bring. mistletoe

Some years it seems the joy diminishes and the stress increases as the busy-ness of the times get in the way of the family fun.

Here are some thoughts on increasing the joy and decreasing the stress.

Focus on Connection. Not Perfection.

While it’s fun to show off our cooking skills, our wrapping skills, our decorating skills, etc., the effort we put into achieving perfection can result in less time and energy for connecting with those we love. And really, isn’t the connection what matters?

One way to make the connection front and center is to have family discussions. Sit with your whole family (especially children and teens) and talk about the upcoming holidays. Have the first discussion at the beginning of the school break before things get really busy. Ask your children what makes the holidays the most fun. If your family isn’t practiced at this type of question it might be uncomfortable to ask your kids about what they like best about the family time, and it may seems down-right weird to them to be asked. That’s why as parents we need to have the patience to sit with our kids as they come up with any answer or non-answer to get us to go away. Stick with them. They do have opinions on this.

Once you know what truly matters to your whole family focus on that. If needed, decide as a family what extras can be eliminated to give a more relaxed pace to the whole school vacation schedule. Say “no” to one event? Buy a pie instead of making one? Skip the holiday cards this year? Focus on the stressors you can control. The more rested and relaxed the family feels, the better you all will be able to deal with the stressors out of your control.

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Bullying: What it is and What You Can Do

By: Crystal Gentry, LSC, District Homeless Liaison, South Washington County School District
(as shared through Washington County’s CONNECT Collaborative)

As we start the month of October, the topic of bullying comes up (especially in schools), as October is National Bullying Prevention Month. One of the most common and complicated aspects regarding bullying is what exactly is bullying? As a school counselor, I hear the word “bully” get used a lot, but it is important to recognize the difference between bullying and conflict. Conflict is a normal part of life, and learning how to handle conflict appropriately will help give students the proper tools they need to be successful.

Normal Peer Conflict Bullying
Equal power; friends Imbalance of power; not friends
Happens occasionally Repeated negative actions
Accidental On Purpose
Not Serious Serious with threat of physical or emotional harm
Equal emotional reaction Strong emotional reaction from victim, and little or no emotional reaction from bully
Not seeking power or attention Seeking power, control, or material things
Not trying to get something Attempt to gain material things or power
Remorse – will take responsibility No remorse – blames victim
Effort to solve the problem No effort to solve the problem

 

What to Do if Your Child is Being Bullied

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Suicide Prevention: We All Play a Role

By: Emily Johnson, Youth and Family Therapist, & Sarah Holmboe, Parent Education Coordinator, at Youth Service Bureau

 

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September is Suicide Prevention Month and a great time to review the risk factors for suicide and what we can all do to help. While having a mental illness (such as depression or anxiety) can be a risk factor for death by suicide, suicides typically happen in moments of crisis. A suicide attempt is often an impulsive decision that young people turn to when they feel a breakdown in their ability to deal with their stress, mood, or perceived hopelessness.

According to the World Health Organization, over 800,000 people die due to suicide every year, and is the second leading cause of death among 15-29-year-olds. Fortunately, all of us can play a role in preventing suicide. Here are some things we can do to help prevent suicide and offer hope and support to those suffering:

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Helping Kids Cope with Stress

This article originally appeared on http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/stress-coping.html

KH-CMYK_Logo-URL(WHT)To adults, childhood can seem like a carefree time. But kids still experience stress. Things like school and their social life can sometimes create pressures that can feel overwhelming for kids. As a parent, you can’t protect your kids from stress — but you can help them develop healthy ways to cope with stress and solve everyday problems.

Kids deal with stress in both healthy and unhealthy ways. And while they may not initiate a conversation about what’s bothering them, they do want their parents to reach out and help them cope with their troubles.

But it’s not always easy for parents to know what to do for a child who’s feeling stressed.

Here are a few ideas…

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Understanding Self-Harm: What Parents Can Do

photo3Self-harm can be very difficult for parents to understand, and is oftentimes just as confusing for the young person who is doing it to themselves. Parents wonder just how serious the self-harming is, and if their child is trying to end his or her life. Self-harming incidents are often not one-in-the-same as suicide attempts, but there are obvious safety concerns associated with cutting and other types of self-harm. For example, sometimes children accidentally cut themselves too deep, causing serious injury. Here are some tips for parents who suspect their child may be self-harming.

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